The Soul-Body

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves ….

Extract from poem Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

Practicing body-centred healing for many years has been a fascinating adventure into the Soul-Body. I have come to use the term Soul-Body to emphasise and highlight that we’re primarily a Soul having an embodied experience.

Our sentient, conscious Soul exists before joining with our physical body. Our first experience of Soul-Body is through our mother as we enter into her Soul-Body around conception. Simultaneously, our Soul and our own very new body join to begin their life-long dance. Once joined with the physical realm we can come and go energetically from our body remaining connected to it, and to life. This is a most incredible time in our lives! There is so much happening, and much to consider regarding embodiment and what support, and parenting, we might need at this stage of life.

Everything we experience before conception, and there can be much, manifests in our physical body as imprints; non-verbal, energetic and somatic memories – also known as implicit memories.

Imprints are accessible through deep somatic listening and connection to the Soul-Body. E.g. If we felt ambivalent before conception about coming here, that experience would be reflected in our physiology as a somatic imprint expressing through all the layers, complexities and expressions of our being, world-view and perceptions of people and life. Ambivalence about coming in would unconsciously pervade our life until we were able to get support to heal and embrace it with a heartfelt welcome.

Future parents who wish to consciously parent the preconception period can connect with, and listen to, an incoming Soul-Baby, and establish an early attachment that can be built upon throughout the prenatal period. This level of connection and communication requires an openness to early consciousness/Soul.

From preconception to post-birth we are always having our own experience, and we are conscious and sentient throughout this foundational period of development and embodiment. Implicit memories are not linear, and they don’t originate in our head. They are alive and active in both our physical and energy body/Soul, emotions, unconscious, felt-sense, dream-body, relational experiences, attachment styles and somatic expressions in life. They show up in every aspect of our lives and relationships, greatly influencing our perceptions of the World and people.

Imprints can be integrated and become conscious, freeing us up from their powerful unconscious expression in our lives. Alongside this integration of our foundational period, new internal resources can be nurtured. (see article Internal Resources and Why We Need Them. Within our imprints we can access:

Information about our Soul’s journey into life
What we need for our deepest healing
Knowledge of our Soul’s purpose
Our Soul essence

Most of us are not taught to see ourselves primarily as a Soul embodying, nor are we taught about our amazing body and energy system, and how to listen to it. This lack of knowledge about ourselves puts us all at a disadvantage because these are our greatest resources. Only through listening to, and loving, our Soul-Body can we heal our deepest wounds, and become more present and alive. Increased awareness, healing, integration of past challenges, and raising our consciousness give us more choice and resources.

Ideally we’d be taught about the wisdom of our Soul-Body by our parents, our culture, and all the way through our schooling because it’s more important than anything else! If we were deeply heard, loved, welcomed, acknowledged and held on our way into life, from preconception onwards, we’d have a felt, coherent experience of supported embodiment from which to launch into life.

Our Soul-Body is a continual dynamic dance between our energy and physical bodies, and one is always reflecting the other – they are symbiotic. We can work towards feeling sovereign over our own personal space by learning how to listen to, and respect, our Soul-Body. It is potentially our best friend in the sense that it’s a magnificent feedback system through which we can:

Access our intuition
Be in touch with our instincts
Practice discernment about what’s right for us in relationships
Read others’ Soul-Body’s
Know what’s going on inside of us, around us, and in others
Access what’s going on underneath our baby/child’s behaviour
Track where we are inside ourselves, and know when and how to resource
Nurture new internal resources
Learn about ourselves and our needs in deeper ways by listening
Connect to Divine/Source and Gaia/Earth

How our Soul-Body Can Help Us with our Imprinting:

When we’re caught up in our imprinting, which can be a lot of the time, our nervous system and emotions are ‘activated’ and they are no longer in neutral, calm and relaxed. When our nervous system is dysregulated we may feel anxiety, nervousness, fear and other strong feelings that don’t make sense in the present. The reactions and emotions that exist within an activated imprint from the past are very physiological in nature. We will most likely be unaware that our feelings and reactions are coming from a past imprint.

Much younger parts of ourselves can take over in the present, and really affect our reactions, emotions, and resource levels. We are no longer operating from our adult self, but from a younger perception of the situation, of which most of us are unaware because it feels as if it’s happening now. Re-experiencing an unresolved, and unconscious, moment from a long time ago – an implicit memory – is not an unusual event in our daily lives. Learning to listen to our Soul-Body, becoming more conscious and aware, can counter how much time we have to spend unconsciously cycling through old imprints.

Our Soul-Body is constantly telling us about where we are inside ourselves, and what we need in the moment. Through awareness of our Soul-Body we can discern when we are caught in an imprint, and this is a good time to do self-care by choosing to orient to something that resources us, such as coming to our centre/mid-line (see mid-lining practice below). When we are once again aligned with our centre/mid-line our nervous system comes out of the trigger returning us to calm and clarity of mind. Our Soul-Body is an amazing resource.

Orienting to Mid-line:

Our central channel/mid-line runs from the:

Crown Chakra/top of our head, down through
the Sixth Chakra/Third Eye/forehead
Throat and Heart Chakras
Centre of our abdomen (Solar plexus above the navel, Second Chakra below the belly button)
and on down to our Root chakra in the perineum

Visualise a ‘line’ from Crown down to Root. Place a hand on top of your head and the other on your perineum if this helps you to orient to mid-line and visualise.

I learned this resourcing orientation from Ray Castellino and have used it myself for many years and taught it to most of my adult clients. With practice – and that does mean regular practicing – you can easily centre and ground and connect instantly to this ever-constant resource. It is a resource because there is no imprint present in the mid-line, only blueprint/your pure life-force. After a period of regular practice (up to a couple of months) you will have a resource you can use easily anywhere, in company or alone. Once you’ve had enough practice to get to mid-line fast and easily it won’t be necessary to stop what you are doing, be alone, or close your eyes to orient to your centre. You can feel grounded, centred and regulated fairly instantly. This is the kind of resource that I like a lot! It’s easy and usable anywhere.

The Crown Chakra extends up to Divine/Source and the Root Chakra down into Mother Earth/Gaia to connect us to both of those very important locations. Get familiar with the basic mid-line practice before exploring extending your energy and awareness up to Source, or down to Gaia.

Orienting to our central channel, or midline, instantly connects us to pure life force energy/blueprint. This is a resource within that is available 24/7. When we are in blueprint energy we are not in our imprints. When we have developed enough somatic awareness to know when we are in the grip of an imprint, we can notice the imprint and to choose to orient to blueprint/resource as an instant way to regulate our nervous system and be in the present. Practicing the midline orientation regularly for a couple of months will make this resource easily available on a daily basis in all situations. Practicing establishes new neural pathways that make it easier to ‘get there’. When I asked Ray Castellino how often he was mid-lining he said, “All the time”.

Midline Orientation Practice:

You can put your hand on any of the following locations as you go through the practice if it helps you to orient. Record the practice sequence (below) on your phone if it helps you to hear it spoken:

Sit quietly and get comfortable, turn off tech.

Close your eyes

Feel your feet on the ground – connect to Mother Earth – invite yourself to occupy your feet, and don’t move to the next location until you feel connected, then

Orient to the top of your head.

When you feel connected to the top of your head, move your attention down through your head to your throat, and so on down the chakras to your Root Chakra, taking your time. Stay in each place until you feel oriented to it.

Orient to your:

back body

front body

inside

outside

left side

right side

finish with Mother Earth (feet)

Father Sky (top of your head)

You can run through the whole orientation as many times as you want and spend as much time as you need at each location.

Why Have a Practice?

Since we spend so much time unconsciously ‘practicing’ our imprints every day, we need to consciously practice something else to support healthy changes and nurture new internal resources. The neural pathways and emotional attachments we have established to our imprints are well worn and familiar. Having a practice of tuning in to our Soul-Body and listening to what it tells us has enormous benefits. Working with a practitioner to heal, integrate and reduce the charge in your imprints is a good accompaniment to any embodiment practice.

Noticing what, and how, we are receiving energy and information through our Soul-Body can give us enormously helpful feedback about ourselves and others. We can learn more about our permeability, our boundaries, how we are vulnerable, if we have leaky energy, etc. When we’re in touch with our Soul-Body in these ways we can become sovereign (in charge) over our space and of ourselves. We certainly can’t change anyone else, but we can do what we want with our own space if we’re willing to become more conscious, open and aware. When we are in touch with ourselves, we have more choice and discernment.

Your Soul-Body is your most precious resource

Are you disconnected from your Soul-Body?

Many of us have become disconnected from our Soul-Body and may not be paying attention, or taking good care of it, until something such as illness, health issues or pain comes along. We can become disconnected from our Soul-Body when we have unresolved trauma or challenging events in our past, or because that’s the way we were taught to embody in our family-of-origin. In the womb our mother is our first teacher about how to embody; how much, or not, to come in to our body. Trauma is isolating because it separates us from ourselves, and overwhelming events can be too much for us to integrate without support, especially when we are very young, or even a prenate in the womb. Unresolved disconnection means that we are missing out on our number one resource when we most need it – our precious Soul-Body.

Disconnection from our Soul-Body is a tragedy because we are at sea without it in matters of relationships, self-care and parenting. It’s the best parenting tool because, through our Soul-Body, we can listen underneath our child’s behaviour to the deeper messages being communicated. This creates more connection and deeper understanding in the family and opens up the possibility for healing much earlier in life. It’s very healing to be deeply seen and heard by those closest to us. Isn’t that what we all need? To feel met, heard, seen, to exist in the heartfelt welcome of another – and to belong?

Our Soul-Body is also a powerful gateway to healing and awareness because, through it, we can access our life experiences, imprints and memories as far back as Source. Like a magical cave full of gifts, our Soul-Body holds the memories of everything that we have ever been through – the good and the challenging. If we’re disconnected from our Soul-Body we’ve lost our best resource for life.

Unresolved trauma and stress are two of the biggest contributors to disconnection from our Soul-Body. When we no longer have access to ourselves, we are at a disadvantage and may feel ungrounded, dissociated (out-of-body), isolated, or anxious. If we’re not at home, we can’t feel welcome or have a sense of belonging. Our physical body is the Home of our Soul; what it would take to make our way Home, and to feel present and safe on arrival?

Challenges in the Embodiment Journey

Embodiment is never more dynamic than during the original embodiment journey when we leave Source to come into our mothers’ Soul-Body, and into our own Soul-Body at conception. The environment that we are growing in for almost a year in the womb determines how much we can embody, as do experiences we’ve had during preconception. We have to respond to challenges, difficulty, losses, low resources or even trauma and we can only do so at the level of development we’ve achieved at the point of the challenge, or event. The earlier the trauma the more primitive the response will be, and this will become our coping response throughout life unless we change it.

Embodiment is an ongoing process throughout our life span until we finally leave our body for good. When we become disconnected somewhere in our creation journey, because perhaps something was overwhelming, it’s harder to land in our body. This could be caused by a specific event, or an ongoing challenging environment. Our level of embodiment affects our attachment style, relationships and intimacy, how we feel about ourselves, and how present we can be for life, others and ourselves.

Overwhelming events or circumstances affect how much we can show up, or benefit, from the love that’s available to us. Even if we have very loving parents, the state of overwhelm is not a receptive one; healing and integration of the overwhelm needs to happen for receptivity to be restored. In overwhelm we may be unable to perceive that we are being loved until the earlier issue/s has been resolved. Overwhelm is isolating – see article: Core Isolation in Prenates, Babies, Children and Adults so it can feel lonely and affect the quality of connection in our relationships. I have seen the effects of overwhelm often in my office with newborns who are struggling to land in themselves, and who need support to land and resolve big moments in their journey – see article A Newborn Cranial Session: Mia Lands in Her Body.

We’re primarily a soul having an embodied experience.

Our Soul’s journey into embodiment is central and foundational to who we are; how we came in, what we came in to, and how we landed in our body. What happened to us during the creation journey affects our Soul-Body experience and profoundly influences our quality of life, as do the ancestral imprints from our parental lines. E.g. If you’ve come into a lineage in which there has been unresolved life threat or trauma your ancestors will have learned how to be really good at checking out, numbing their body and feelings, and staying out of their body (energetically leaving) as a way to cope. They needed to be good at that back then because there was no support and they had to find a way to manage unbearable circumstances and events. We have to appreciate the survival imprints that got us here, even as we gently re-pattern them. These kinds of ancestral imprints can be passed down unconsciously to our children, so it’s good for future parents to take a look at these patterns and imprints before conceiving, so that they can have more choice about the parents they want to become.

Everyone on the planet has experiences that are held in their Soul-Body going way back to preconception. All our imprints can be accessed and healed through our Soul-Body when we have access to informed somatic, body-centred support that increases our self-awareness, our somatic awareness and raises our consciousness.

How Much Are You Occupying Your Soul-Body? Some questions to ask yourself:

The first time I heard the term ‘out of body’ they were spoken by a teacher in a Humanistic Psychology training I was taking back in the late 80’s. I felt like someone had rung a loud gong inside of me! My intellect didn’t know what these words meant, but I had a strong felt-sense it was important and relevant information. My intuitive self said, “that’s me!”. After this I got curious and began to observe myself and notice how I would leave my body, and what it felt like when I left. Next, I got curious about why I left when I did, and then later I asked myself, “What if I want to get back in to my body?” I did learn how to get back in to my body and in the process, I learned a lot about myself. Many new internal resources opened up to me, and I understood why I was operating this way, most of it originating from my prenatal wounding in the first trimester. I had a lot of terror from back-then, and along with not fully occupying my body, I often sat by the door in groups – ready for a quick exit.

We’ve all heard the expression “the lights are on and no one’s home”. This is a simple way of naming that a person is out of their body. There is always a good reason for why we are in various levels of disconnect from our body. Often, we had to respond to something that was too big to handle very early on in our life, and our resources at that stage of development were such that absenting our body was perhaps our only option. It’s a smart response in the face of adversity, and it may not be necessary to continue living your whole life in that state of disconnect. Challenge, overwhelm and trauma, or just a lack of support and connection, all affect how we embody, and how much we can land in our body. Our young responses to earlier challenges often continue into adulthood, unconsciously expressing in our lives. It is possible to become more present, learn new ways of responding, and to nurture new internal resources that help us to handle life in a more adult, resourced way.

An Embodiment Self-Awareness Exercise:

Here are some questions you can ask yourself if you want to determine your level of embodiment – ask these questions at your own pace, you may begin with one question, and leave some time in between before you ask another. Leave time to process – be curious and observe yourself. As you learn more be sure to appreciate yourself, and be kind, welcoming and loving. Ask your intuitive self:

1. Am I in my body? Even if your intellect doesn’t understand what this means you can still answer the question. Trust the answer that comes. If the answer is, “No, I’m not in my body”, ask yourself, “Where am I? You could be hanging out above yourself, to the side, in front of yourself, half way in or out, etc.

2. Did something get in the way of landing in my body fully that caused me to disconnect from myself?

3. Was each of your parents fully in their body? If not, it may help to give each of them a rating out of 10, e.g. if 10 was fully in their body what number would you choose between 1 and 10 for each parent? This will begin to give you a sense of what you learned from them early on.

4. Was there enough support, safety and parenting/connection early on in your creation journey for you to fully embody? If no, what was missing?

5. Were you supported in your family-of-origin to listen to yourself (intuition, instincts, gut feelings and body) and to speak your truth and be authentic?

6. Were your parents practicing out of body responses to life – e.g. dissociating, absenting, numbing out, practicing addictions, avoidant relating and attachment styles due to their own unresolved imprints, trauma and families-of-origin?

This is a lot of information to seek, so take your time and have space in between questions to integrate the answers and process any feelings that come up. Get support if needed.

We can use our consciousness and deeper awareness to become more embodied and present, to fully occupy our body and become sovereign over our personal space, and to heal ourselves. This kind of personal development work can support us to become more effective, resourced, grounded and able to meet our Soul’s purpose.

We are primarily consciousness being, and becoming, embodied throughout our life. Embodiment is an ongoing process, part of being alive. We are here to experience life in a physical body, which is our temporary home, our temple and potential sanctuary and our greatest resource. What can a shift in perspective about our Soul-Body mean for us? What’s possible when, as a soul having an embodied experience, we take the journey to reconnect with ourselves and perceive our life through that new lens?

Transforming Challenging Embodiment Imprints – Two Examples:

Adult Client – Example 1: When Rhianna was in the womb her mum was unable to be present in her own Soul-Body, so Rhianna learned all about how to be out of her body too. Her mum had not taught her this lesson consciously in the womb. Rhianna had energetically and somatically learned this lesson about how to be in the World. The non-verbal message she received and adopted says, “This is how you survive in the world and stay safe.”

Our first lessons in how to survive happen during the first 9-10 months of our life in the womb. It’s natural for us to absorb how to do life from our parents, and especially from our mum because we are growing inside of her Soul-Body. Rhianna’s mum may have learnt her particular way of staying out of her body when she was inside of her mum, which makes it an ancestral, or inter-generational, imprint. We’re not stuck with these imprints, they can change.

Whenever Rhianna felt threatened, which often happened when she was becoming close to a man, she would leave her body and hang out above it where she couldn’t feel anything. This out-of-body response (or dissociation) can help us to feel safer because we’re out of touch with our felt-sense and body, but paradoxically when we have vacated our premises, there is no longer anyone home to take care of us. It may seem safer to be out of our body, but we have actually abandoned ourselves in the face of challenge. We’re not receptive to other signals from our Soul-Body when we vacate, so we’re missing information that could help us to make a good decision for self-care in a challenging situation. To do good self-care we must be present for ourselves as much as possible.

Rhianna wanted to understand why she was absenting herself when close with a man. Her intention was to learn how she could stay present, connected, and deepen into intimacy and love. She knew in her mind that there was no threat to her in present time, but her imprinting was telling her something else entirely. Physiologically she was having a big fear response, and then she would automatically leave her body. The parts of us that leave are often very young and they are using survival responses that were learnt early on in life. E.g. Rhianna’s prenatal self/Little One wanted to get out quickly when anyone got too close. Her mum had suffered some frightening experiences with men when Rhianna was a baby and a child that had left her understandably scared and anxious in intimate situations with men. Rhianna had picked up this imprinting from her mum even though she hadn’t had any bad experiences with men herself. With the help of an experienced somatic pre and perinatal practitioner she no longer needed to act out her mum’s out-of-body survival behaviour and was able to grow new resources so that she could stay present, resourced and practice excellent self-care, especially in intimate situations.

Newborn Client- Example 2: I met Matt as a newborn who, as a Soul-baby, had felt ambivalent on his way to his new family. He was not 100% committed to coming into a new family but was moving towards it. Matt had a companion who would be his twin and they planned to be conceived and come all the way in to their Soul-Body’s together. After arriving in their new womb, they were doing well for several weeks until their mum’s physical challenges – her anxiety, a dysregulated nervous system, high stress, and an inability to keep food or liquids down – meant that one of them had to leave because there were not enough resources for two of them. This was devastating for both of them and they were angry, upset and in deep grief about losing each other and their plan to be together.

Matt was inconsolably crying and distressed as a newborn when I met him with his parents at 3-weeks-old in his home. During the session I felt his lost twin sister was in the room with us; she was still hanging around because she was worried about Matt and she felt very angry about their unplanned separation.

Matt’s parents didn’t understand why he was so upset and inconsolable, even though they knew he had lost his twin in the womb. They were unaware that his sister, their lost daughter, was still present in the family.

Matt was struggling to land in his body, whilst simultaneously his energy and attention were drawn out of his body towards his sister. This created a tension as his energy was being pulled in opposite directions – both into his body so he could land more, and out towards his sister. His longing for his connection with his sister, and his grief about losing her, were creating an embodiment dilemma.

As newborns we’re naturally moving towards embodiment; we can settle in more when we can land in our body. The dilemma for Matt was that being more present here felt like he would be losing his sister again. It was a challenging double bind for him. Bringing empathic support, understanding and healing to Matt’s challenges made a huge difference. His inconsolable crying ceased as his grief was now held with empathy and understanding by his parents. He still had some grieving to do, but the inconsolable feelings settled down. In the session Matt’s parents had also been able to hear from their lost daughter and understand her feelings, and the dynamics at hand between the twins, which helped them in their parenting.

Getting some support to process and resolve the strong feelings about what happened in the womb enormously helped Matt to land in himself. Having his parents empathically understand what he was going through was very important in this process, and ultimately created deeper connection in the family.

The Foundations of Embodiment

We need to be at Home and present in our body to be able to do a good job taking care of ourselves, to stay in touch with our needs, assimilate what we are receiving from around us, listen to our instincts and our intuition, have deep, meaningful connections with others, and to be able to transform our imprinting so we can have more choice, accumulate new internal resources, and stay centred and grounded in our connection to Gaia and Source.

The foundational period of development from Source to newborn affects our relationships, perceptions of life and people, attachment, health, physiology and nervous system functioning, our deepest beliefs about people and the world and whether we feel safe or not. As adults it can provide us with deep information and understanding about our unconscious dynamics and patterns in life, bringing more coherency, balance, embodiment, alignment, and a reconnection with our Soul’s purpose.

Early embodiment and attachment challenges are central and recurring themes throughout our lives. Listening to the somatic voice of pre-verbal imprinting through body-centred practices and awareness is a very effective way to hear those inner younger parts of us who are having such a huge influence upon our lives. A reorientation to, “I am a Soul embodying”, understanding that our Soul-Body is our centre, Home and temple, and holding an intention to listen to its messages and learn its language, offer us incredible gifts and the deepest of resources.

Through listening to our Soul-Body we can reconnect with our Little One – our inner prenatal and baby self – who holds all the memories of our journey-into-life and continually expresses them in the present in the hope of one day being heard.

Reconnecting with our Little One can dynamically transform our lives, and with somatic work and relational healing, reconnect us to Source and ground us into deeper being and a sense of welcome and belonging. Little One’s are sacred, magical little beings who can unlock our Universe and open us up to a sacred world full of wonder and Soul.

It’s important for future parents to understand that we are always conscious and sentient, so begin parenting during the preconception period. Seeing our incoming Soul-Babies as consciousness becoming embodied can change our perspective on early parenting, and on how we are loving our children into life. Acknowledging consciousness and Soul creates primary shifts in how we perceive, listen and relate to our already born children, our prenatal babies, and our Soul-Babies and gives us many ways to support them to land as fully as possible.

Open your eyes and see your child or Little One, or the Soul-Baby journeying towards you as conscious and sentient, and feel the wonder. Tune in to their consciousness and essence – nothing is sweeter!

Much Love on your journey, Karen

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