There are many ways that our children communicate with us before conception. Dreams, visions at the edge of sleep, meeting during meditation or prayer, a sense of a hovering presence, an inner voice, telepathic thoughts/conversations, and even moving physical objects to get attention! In The Tibetan Art of Parenting, Ann Hubbell Maiden believes that the baby’s consciousness manifests in the mother’s dreams…. and they are often a way to bridge life in this world with other lives …. “mother may experience unusual dreams as if they belonged to someone else.”
Dreams can also give advance information about the person coming to be born. The unborn child may communicate with other receptive people around her mother – siblings, friends, family, co-workers. Not all of us are open or sensitive enough to receive telepathic messages, so the unborn child will use whoever is available, and receptive.
Often in dreams or visitations the child will appear older, e.g. 3 or 6 years old, and you may have multiple such visits so that you really get to know your child before conception, and have a clear picture of what s/he will look like physically at the age they present themselves to you in the visit.
Many years before my granddaughter was born I felt that I knew her, I knew that she would come, and that she would definitely be a girl. I had waited for her for a long time; even though my son was only 23 years old when she was born! The waiting feeling went beyond my son’s lifespan. We have a very strong connection even though I physically don’t see her very often. I didn’t have a visual sense of her, it was more an inner knowing of her, and a felt-sense, as if I already knew her and knew without a doubt that she would come. Like meeting an old familiar friend after a long time of no contact.
Couples who have no intention of having a baby, or who have even had tubal ligations, have dreamt of a child wanting to be born to them, causing them to change their minds, and even reverse tubal surgery. Clearly these are not your ordinary everyday dreams, they have a clear and powerful message that can be life changing. At the least they offer the opportunity to fall in love with your child right from the beginning, before their Soul has become embodied.
Pre-conception is the ideal time to be thinking about, and assessing, all aspects of your life and the changes you may want to make before you become pregnant. These changes could be to your career, emotional/psychological, physical and health, in your home or the location of your home, and in your relationship with each other. They can also be about what kind of parents you want to be, and taking a look at the kind of parenting you received. This can include exploring your ancestral line imprints, so that you can make conscious decisions about what you want to pass on down the line to your own children. It is also important to take a look at your own journey into life from pre-conception through newborn, as it is normal for us to repeat our own history when we step into parenthood.
Having a baby is going to create huge changes in your lives. After the birth you will have to manage these changes in the midst of sleep deprivation, loss of freedom, changes in your sexual life, etc. These changes can be overwhelming, unless you are prepared. I recommend that you begin preparation before conception. The kind of womb, and family, that your baby comes into is going to have a profound impact upon her whole life. You can both prepare for your new baby by healing:
♥ Trauma’s based in your sexuality/pelvic area such as sexual abuse
♥ Un-grieved or unresolved prior abortions, miscarriages or stillbirth.
♥ Anything else you are holding in your womb – women often hold stress and trauma in their Pelvic Bowl area, and especially in their reproductive system.
♥ Unresolved conception, womb, birth and bonding trauma’s from your own journey’s here, that are specifically likely to affect the way you bring your own children into life. It is normal for us to repeat our own early material when we step into parenthood, we do this unconsciously unless we make an effort to become conscious.
♥ Relationship issues you have with each other, particularly around becoming parents, parenting styles, and unresolved parenting and ancestral issues from both sides of your families. Are you compatible? What will it take to get on the same page for good co-parenting?
Getting support for any or all of the above explorations is good parenting practice.
The benefits of exploring your own conception, womb, birth and bonding experiences are enormous for your baby, and for your lives individually, and as parents. The parenting you received will shape the parenting you will give, unless you consciously choose to do it differently. Many of your formative experiences are deeply unconscious and still strongly influencing your lives. You can, with awareness and consciousness, make choices about what you want to pass on to your children. As you explore yourselves as pre-conceptive parents, you are preparing the ground for your baby, and creating an optimal environment for her to grow in.
You don’t have to be perfect to be a good parent, just good enough. A commitment to your ongoing healing and consciousness, and to developing and maintaining a good relationship with each other and with your child, is a wonderful foundation for parenthood. Develop good communication skills, keep your love alive and be willing to plumb your own depths to create fulfilling lives for your whole family. If you bond with your baby before conception, and throughout pregnancy, and birthing, and communicate with her/him throughout, you can mitigate many of life’s stresses and trauma’s for your child because early secure attachment creates a buffer for your baby.
Stories of the Unborn Soul, and Soul Trek, Elisabeth Hallett
Primal Connections: How our experiences from conception to birth influence our emotions, behavior and health, Elizabeth Noble
Parenting from The Inside Out – How a Deeper Self Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive, Daniel J Siegal & Mary Hartzell
Nurturing The Unborn Child – A 9 month program for Soothing, Stimulating and communicating with Your Baby,
& The Mind of Your Newborn Baby, Thomas Verny, M.D., David Chamberlain
Windows to the Womb, David Chamberlain
Welcoming Consciousness, Wendy Anne McCarty, PhD
The Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology & Health (APPPAH) is a great resource. They recommend many books and video’s covering a wide range of prenatal and perinatal psychology and health subjects, and have a great journal and newsletter. Sign up for their Conscious Baby newsletter too.
© 2016 Karen Melton